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by Lisa McIntosh

What makes a group of individuals a family? Being related by blood or marriage? How about definition 7 in the Macquarie Dictionary: ‘a group of persons who form a household and who regard themselves as having familial ties’?

Is our understanding of family more to do with shared lives and values than being ‘descended from a common progenitor’, as definition 4 states? Jesus certainly takes a more inclusive view of family, as we are reminded in this month’s Bible study (see John 19:26,27 and Matthew 12:49,50).

TJ Krause was almost four when he and his younger brother Abebaw (AJ) came from an orphanage in Ethiopia to become part of a new family in Australia.

Now 20 and an apprentice carpenter, he still remembers the feeling he had meeting his new mum, Julie, for the first time and, ultimately, his new siblings and, later, his new dad, Jonathan. Each of his parents also has children from previous marriages.

‘It was really exciting, and it was rather interesting and bizarre and surreal’, TJ says of the experience of meeting and joining a new family, who now live at Maslin Beach in South Australia. ‘We don’t call it “blended” but it is a blended family.’ He says that even though there are particular challenges to being part of a family in which members come from different backgrounds, the best element is that ‘there’s no judgement whatsoever’.

‘We all make it work really well, and Mum and Dad are just super accepting. When you’re younger and you don’t know where your real parents are, sometimes you question that.

‘But you do realise that the parents you have really do love you and they cherish you and protect you. That makes you realise that they are your real parents even though they’re not blood.

‘I think family keeps you motivated to keep pursuing life because you’re showing them that you’re grateful for the opportunities they’re giving you. A family’s always there to love you, support you, be there for you through thick and thin, and there’s nothing that can beat unconditional love.

‘If someone’s willing to support someone else throughout every single thing and be there for them through the good and bad, that’s the definition of family, whether it’s your brother or it’s your best mate.’

Blending two families and households into one challenges parents, too, with things such as setting disciplinary boundaries, territorial feelings and behaviour, different parenting styles and basic practical issues all requiring attention.

Pastor Mark and Beth Kaesler, of Seaford in South Australia, merged two households into one when they were married. Between them, they had four children from their previous marriages, including two sons named Paul!

‘It’s a funny thing when you join two families and two houses’, Beth says. ‘You don’t mean to be, but you’re quite threatened about trying to maintain territory. When Mark, Elisa and Paul moved in, there was all this sorting about what we would throw out and what we’d keep. You know, like, whose egg flip will we keep? It was very, very territorial.

‘When you get past that physical territorial stuff, then you have to move on to the emotional territorial stuff and spiritual territorial stuff. You know, like, I’ll give a bit here and you give a bit. And I think we learned fairly early that we both had to give a lot more than 50 per cent to make it work.’

Both Beth and Pastor Mark say that God’s support was critical in blending their families.

‘God is part of everything, really’, Pastor Mark says. ‘God is never absent. He is speaking to us in all sorts of ways. And I guess you really can’t put a value on all those little bits of knowledge that he gives you in this journey.’

‘I think it starts with a sense and an understanding of how much God has given you and how much God has forgiven you’, Beth adds. ‘That gives you a huge sense of God’s grace which you can then give out.’

And they agree that God is the one in their family who can best break down the barriers that members may put up for their own feeling of safety and security.

‘So, the only one who can heal and open up doors where both of us are not able to, or our kids aren’t able to, is God’, Pastor Mark says. ‘He opens the doors and somehow changes our hearts, works out ways so that we can find a common thread to cling to again, to go forward.’

God is also central to the family life of Pastor Colin Simpkin, his wife Tanya, son Brad and niece Abbie Williams, of Grovedale in Victoria. Abbie became part of the family household after the death of her mother, Joanne, Tanya’s sister, as her father is not able to look after her.

The Simpkins say they always wanted two children and believe that God had plans for them to be ‘a complete family with Abbie’.

‘With Brad being an only child, Abbie coming into our family brought him a sibling and he learnt how to share everything – toys, home and parents’, Pastor Colin says. ‘As a family, we miss one another when any are away. We have the joy of seeing the accomplishments of the others. We have brought God into Abbie’s life and we learn a lot from her, too.

‘Having all of the members of our family now has added extra love into each of our lives. Abbie loves having a female role model and support person, and Tan is what Abbie needs to guide her through many difficult areas.’

Pastor Colin says that while there were challenges for each of them in getting used to the new family dynamics, the family unit is really important to them ‘because God put us together’.

‘Everybody needs to know they belong somewhere and that they matter to others. Everyone needs people to support them in life, with love, care, protection and company. God is love and we know his love through Jesus, who calls us to pass that love on to our families.’

You can read more of Beth and Mark’s story, or listen to their Messages of Hope interview at www.messagesofhope.org.au/blended-families/  

by Lisa McIntosh

The devastating bushfires that razed parts of the Adelaide Hills in December 2019 not only claimed a life, killed livestock, destroyed homes and charred the landscape – they also left painful emotional scars for some locals.

So, to help restore the confidence of children from the area and encourage their connection with the surrounding countryside after the tragedy, Lobethal Lutheran School has teamed up with the nearby Trinity Lutheran congregation at Spring Head to establish a forest learning program on church land.

From this year students from the Foundation to Year 6 school have been going by bus one day each week to a forest glen haven at Spring Head church, to engage in ‘Beyond’, an ‘innovative, rich outdoor learning program’, says school Principal Steph Kriewaldt.

Students are given challenging but achievable tasks, linked to the Australian Curriculum, which are aimed at building their confidence, skills and independence. They are also allowed time to explore their thoughts, feelings and relationships. The day begins with a summit fire, to ground learners with the environment. This time and reflective practice develop inter and intra-personal skills, which are well documented as being directly linked to learning skills and wellbeing, Steph says.

‘All of our learners from five years old onwards light fires without matches, learn how to cut trees and wood, build shelter, tie knots and identify local flora and fauna – all learning experiences carefully designed by our facilitators to support student agency but also cover key literacy, numeracy and STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) outcomes’, she says.

‘It’s been intentionally planned to develop confidence and resilience through challenge and risk in a range of nature play and discovery experiences. Beyond encourages the children’s emotional and physical development through exploration in a bushland environment.’

Originally a concept developed in Denmark, research has shown that ‘forest schools’ had students who were found to have developed strong social skills, an ability to work effectively in groups, and generally had high self-esteem and confidence.

The program at Lobethal Lutheran School, which involves all year levels and staff, has led to the school recently being recognised by The Educator national magazine as a 5-Star Innovative School for 2021.

‘This award is a fabulous acknowledgment of the outstanding hard work of staff, our awesome learners and special community, and a fabulous partnership between Lobethal Lutheran School and Spring Head church’, Steph says.

‘Beyond was initially developed after the devastating [Adelaide Hills] bushfires, as we were searching for a way to reconnect students with nature and nurture a positive relationship with the outdoors.

‘As we dug deeper into the amazing research around improved wellbeing, resilience, creativity and independence associated with forest learning, we knew that it was a must for our learners. We met with Nature Play SA and local bush experts to devise the program.

‘We knew that Spring Head church had the most beautiful site that would nurture authentic engagement with nature. The congregation supported us with ideas and material which are a big part of the success of the program. Pastor Tim Castle-Schmidt is a huge advocate for outdoor learning and was very supportive as we developed the program, and he pops along when we are on site. It has been great to have fellowship with the congregation as they share their unique space with our school.’

Established by the Lobethal Lutheran congregation in 1842, Lobethal Lutheran School today has just 52 students, making it one of the smaller schools in the Lutheran Education Australia community of 80 schools and approximately 40,000 learners – and this makes its recent recognition even more noteworthy.

Steph says Lobethal Lutheran was also the first primary school in Australia to offer a STEM-AG program. ‘Students work across traditional school levels finding and solving real problems within agriculture. STEM-AG begins with students, supported by teachers, identifying what they believe needs to be addressed within our local agricultural community.’

And she says feedback to the Beyond program has been ‘100 per cent positive’. ‘Parents are thrilled that their children are experiencing learning that develops resilience and have been surprised at how quickly the skills have been displayed – with little five-year-olds tying hitch knots and lighting fires.’

One parent, Nicky, says of daughter Amber: ‘I love that (she) can be pushed to challenge herself, it has been great to see her confidence and knowledge grow because of Beyond.’ While another parent, Nick, believes there have been benefits across the student body. ‘After the bushfires, it was really important that we watch out for the wellbeing of the kids’, he says. ‘This program has helped their wellbeing, their resilience has improved, and they feel okay to be in nature again.’

After each session at Beyond, the students write in a journal about their experiences, which Steph says also brings educational benefits. ‘A delightful surprise for our teachers has been the improved literacy outcomes as our learners are so engaged in journalling the learning of Beyond’, she says.

Teacher Meredith says: ‘The learning is authentic and there’s agency for the learners to drive the experiences. Engagement is a key factor of Beyond, everyone wants to learn, to work together. It’s a peaceful, joyful classroom.’

And what do the children think? Hudson says, ‘I love going to Beyond. It’s so much fun, we get so dirty’. Fellow student, Jensen, adds, ‘I like learning about the animals – catching the frogs and finding out about their habitat’, while James says, ‘It’s not like real school. It’s hard but it’s fun-hard.’

Other Lutheran schools to be named 5-Star Innovative Schools this year are Faith Lutheran College Redlands in Queensland and Immanuel College at Novar Gardens in South Australia.

You can find out more about the Beyond program at Lobethal Lutheran School through an online video at: https://youtu.be/Odk3cHFvx5s