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171

Missionary’s legacy to be commemorated

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Finke River Mission (FRM) is arranging commemorative activities in Central Australia this year to mark the centenary of the death of Lutheran missionary Carl Strehlow.

Pastor Strehlow, who died on 20 October 1922 at Horseshoe Bend Station on the Finke River, aged 50, is most remembered for his service among the Western Arrarnta people at Hermannsburg (Ntaria). His legacy includes extensive Bible translation work and research and writings on First Nations languages and cultures.

Most of the 100th-anniversary events will be held from 24 to 31 July at Hermannsburg, 125 kilometres southwest of Alice Springs.

FRM Ministry Support Worker Pastor Neville Doecke says the key focus of the events will be on ‘giving praise and thanks to God’ for Carl Strehlow’s outstanding service, as well as that of his wife Frieda. ‘In addition, nothing could have been achieved without the support of the many Western Arrarnta Aboriginal people who dearly loved and worked tirelessly with Carl and Frieda’, Pastor Neville says.

WHO WAS STREHLOW?

Carl Strehlow was born on 23 December 1871 in Fredersdorf, in northern Germany. His early education was at his schoolteacher father’s Lutheran school. He entered the Lutheran seminary at Neuendettelsau in Germany’s south in 1888.

Pastor Strehlow graduated in 1891 and the following year was sent to Australia. His first posting was to the Bethesda Mission at South Australia’s Lake Eyre, where he learnt to speak the local Diyari (Dieri) language within six months. By the end of 1894, he had translated the New Testament into Diyari with Reverend J G Reuther.

In October 1894, Missionary Strehlow was transferred to Hermannsburg. He ran the mission also as a cattle and sheep station and provided pastoral care for more than 100 Aboriginal people. His soon-to-be wife Frieda Keysser joined Carl from Germany in 1895. They had six children and her service among the community members at Hermannsburg is fondly remembered by their descendants. Carl began the translation of the New Testament into Arrarnta with Moses Tjalkabota, Nathaniel Rauwirarka and Jacobus in 1913, completing it in 1919.

PROGRAM OF EVENTS

  • Sun 24 July, 11am: Worship service at Hermannsburg; followed by lunch
  • 25 to 29 July: Walk down Finke Gorge to Running Waters. The full walk is 70 kilometres, but shorter walks are possible.
  • Sun 31 July, 11am: Memorial service at Strehlow’s grave at Horseshoe Bend Station.

More information and registration, contact: Pastor Neville Doecke (0498 583 808 or doecke.nh@gmail.com) or David Hewitt (0439 803 685; dmhewitt@ozemail.com.au).

172

Feeling guilty? That’s the Spirit’s prompting

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by Anne Hansen

Have you ever had a friend whom you knew from church start a conversation with, ‘I’m sorry that I haven’t been to church for a while, but …’? I often have people begin conversations like this. I think because I am a pastor’s wife, the guilt that some people feel just seeing me can spark this response!

I hope I don’t actually put people off with my presence, as I would never want to, but I have come to realise that it is the Holy Spirit’s prompting that produces this guilt … not just me! God wants all people to have a close relationship with him, and it’s the job of the Spirit to keep prompting us into God’s presence, where we can be nourished by his word, fed through the sacraments and be blessed by growing in fellowship with fellow believers.

Whether it is a guilty feeling or not, we know that we grow closer to God when we are worshipping, reading the Bible, or sharing his love with others.

GETTING TO KNOW OUR GOD BETTER

Lutheran Tract Mission (LTM) has many resources for you to use or to share with others to help you grow in the knowledge of our God and his saving love. Recently we have produced a series of 12 ‘Growing Together as Family’ devotion tracts – these were produced especially for the ‘time-poor’ family which may only have one or two nights a week to have dinner together and share devotions. Each tract contains four weeks on one topic – about our faith: holy communion, the Apostles’ Creed, baptism, or the Lord’s Prayer, or about the church seasons: Epiphany, Lent, Easter, Advent, Christmas and Pentecost.

Show one to your pastor or give one to a friend or family member.

RESOURCES TO HELP US GROW

There are many other LTM resources to help you grow in your faith, too. Have a look on our website and start with the ‘Christian Growth’ category. There are about 950 tracts in total but use the categories listing to help you find just what you need. Go to www.ltm.org.au

Rather than just feeling guilty about your faith life, develop a habit of growing your faith and family!

Anne Hansen is Lutheran Tract Mission Development Officer.

173

Church@Home July 2022

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Nurturing faith in between Sundays

With many people still facing uncertainty, grief or economic pressures due to the COVID pandemic, plus the devastation of floods and bushfires close to home and war overseas, we can all benefit from reading or hearing some encouraging words and experiencing a sense of God’s closeness. Nurturing our faith at home through regular devotions strengthens our relationship with Jesus and helps to open our hearts to the work of the Holy Spirit. We pray that you will be blessed by the devotional materials here and in the Church@Home resources collection online at www.lca.org.au/churchhome

Lisa

James 1:2,3
Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials, because the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 

DEVOTIONS FOR HOME WORSHIP

These reflections are adapted from a collection of devotions written for our LCANZ family and friends to help us to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus no matter what we face. You can find these and many others on the LCA website at www.lca.org.au/daily-devotion and you can subscribe to receive them daily via email by clicking on the link on that same page.

PTL – praise the Lord by Pastor Tim Klein

Let the peoples praise you, O God; let all the peoples praise you (Psalm 67:5).

Read Psalm 67.

I know a person, though unable to speak, who praises God with loud cries. I know another who, when singing, sings with tear-washed cheeks. And still, another who sings with arms raised high, head lifted up, heart open and eyes closed, all attention on the Lord. I know another person who, at one point, would respond to every good thing, saying ‘PTL’!

We are all called to praise the Lord. We each praise the Lord in our own unique way, for our own reasons, yet our praise is shared. This word from Psalm 67 says it: ‘Let all the peoples praise you’.

In Revelation, chapter 5, John is given a vision of millions and millions of people praising God around his throne: ‘The Lamb who was killed is worthy to receive power, riches, wisdom, strength, honour, glory, and praise.’

And then there were more! ‘All beings in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and in the sea offer praise. Together, all of them were saying, “Praise, honour, glory, and strength forever and ever to the one who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”’

Do you love to praise the Lord? What are some of your memorable times of praising the Lord? What are your reasons for praising the Lord?

Mostly, our praises to the Lord are carried in singing – from the classic hymn Praise to the Lord (LH 442) to Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus and Tim Tscharke’s Singing All Praises to Benjamin Hastings’ O Praise the Name (Anástasis).

Perhaps you might finish your time of reflection by calling to mind your reasons to praise the Lord and spending some time in praise.

Lord, you are gracious to us and bless us. You shine your face on us. You judge the peoples of the earth with equity and guide the nations upon earth. Your earth yields more than enough for all the world’s needs. You have truly blessed us. And so, with all the nations, we praise you, O Lord. Amen.

Home and away by Stuart Gray

So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it (2 Corinthians 5:9).

Read 2 Corinthians 5:1–10.

My wife and I enjoy camping. We have the freedom to easily explore our country with relatively few encumbrances. But when camping, we are exposed to the elements, the wind and rain, the hot and cold.

So, we also enjoy our home where we feel grounded and largely protected from the elements. Home is where our community lives. But we can’t have both lifestyles at the same time.

In this passage, Paul talks about living our lives in an ‘earthly tent’ that is temporary, frail and vulnerable. But we look forward to being with God, which Paul describes as ‘an eternal house in heaven’. God’s house is permanent.

Paul says in verse one that we know if the earthly tent is destroyed, we have a building from God. In verse four, Paul says we know that as long as we are in our bodies, we are away from the Lord, but because God has given us the Holy Spirit as a deposit, a guarantee of what is to come, we are always confident of our heavenly destination.

Paul’s words, ‘we know’ and ‘always confident’, show no doubt. That’s the power of the Holy Spirit. ‘We live by faith, not by sight.’ While we are in our earthly bodies, we groan and are burdened, but by faith, we are confident that our destination is the eternal house in heaven.

So how does Paul resolve this dilemma of wanting to be with God while living in our earthly bodies? We do so by making it our goal to please God, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.

And Paul says that what we do with our lives matters as we will all ‘appear before the judgement seat of Christ so that each may receive due recompense for actions done in the body, whether good or evil’.

Heavenly Father, give us the will, power and strength to do what is pleasing to you. Give us clarity about our purpose in life so that we may fully live a life that is acceptable to you. We ask this through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. Amen.

PRAYER

PRAYER OF PRAISE 

O God,
You alone are unutterable,
from the time you created all things
that can be spoken of.

You alone are unknowable,
from the time you created all things
that can be known.

All things cry out about you,
those which speak,
and those which cannot speak.

All things honour you;
those which think,
and those which cannot think.

For there is one longing, one groaning,
that all things have for you.

All things pray to you that perceive your plan
and offer you a silent hymn.

In you, the One,
all things abide,
and all things endlessly run to you
who are the end of all.
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Amen.
– Saint Gregory of Nazianzus (330-389AD),
sourced from justprayer.org

2 Timothy 1:7
For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

A faithful spirit by Carolyn Ehrlich

‘Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit’, Elisha replied (2 Kings 2:9b).

Read 2 Kings 2:1–12.

Elisha was Elijah’s protégé. Elisha was transitioning to take on his job. But he recognised the faithful spirit of Elijah. Elisha asked that he take over his work and receive a double portion of his faithfulness. And it was granted.

At the same time as taking on the faithful spirit of Elijah, Elisha was different from Elijah. We recognise Elijah as a great prophet, but Elisha did more miracles, Elisha spent more time with people, and Elisha showed tenderness and ongoing compassion for others, which was quite different from Elijah’s prophetic ministry.

Even though Elisha asked for and inherited a double portion of Elijah’s spirit, he did not try and replicate Elijah. Instead, he worked with the strengths that God had given him.

So, we need to admire the faithfulness of others, and we need to replicate those spiritual gifts, but we need to do it in our own God-led way. How God leads and directs me is different to how God leads and directs you.

It is within this diversity that we can collectively act as one body of Christ.

Ask God today to lead you into realising your God-given gifts, talents and strengths to his glory

Heavenly Father, you have given each of us unique gifts and talents. Like Elisha, I pray that you will fill me with a spirit of faithfulness to you. Thank you for all that you have given me. Show me how to use my unique gifts, talents and strengths for your glory this day and always. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

There’s something about them … by Georgie Schuster

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realised that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus (Acts 4:13).

Read Acts 4:5–21.

We like things that make sense. One plus one equals two, and all is right with the world. But it can be confronting when something doesn’t appear to add up.

The educated men (rulers, elders, teachers of the law, the high priest etc) would have done their research on Peter and John as they sought reasons to silence them.

Initially fishermen by trade, one could expect their skillset and expertise to be confined to that profession. But then they hung around the itinerant Jesus, who challenged long-held traditions and understandings and was crucified for his troubles. Reports had been made of his resurrection, but he had since disappeared off the face of the earth.

Still, his influence seemed to be spreading. Peter and John were going around healing people using Jesus’ name! Now, these same men stood before the hierarchy and spoke with boldness. They even had the audacity and courage to quote Scripture, naming Jesus as the one whom the psalmist referenced … in front of some of the same men who orchestrated Jesus’ crucifixion.

So how did they go from being ordinary, uneducated fishermen to men of courage who performed miracles and spoke with authority? Well, they did spend time – a lot of time – with Jesus. He seemed to have a profound and life-changing impact on these two extraordinary men … and they weren’t (and aren’t) the only ones!

How does spending time with Jesus impact you and influence your words and actions?

Dear God, thank you for all the ways we get to spend time together. You share your love and refresh my soul in many different ways. You show me paths to walk and people to connect with. I look forward to what you have in store for me today! In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.

174

General Synod to discuss ordination for fifth time

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Six proposals relating to the ordination of both women and men have been submitted for consideration by delegates at February’s in-person sessions of the 20th Convention of General Synod, to be held in Melbourne.

This will be the fifth time that some form of the difficult ordination question has come before General Synod, the first being in 2000.

Two of the LCANZ Districts and four congregations have submitted proposals on the subject. Three of them, including one from the South Australia – Northern Territory District, ask for the removal of Clause 6.11 from the Theses of Agreement, which rules that men only may be ordained as pastors of the church.

The Theses of Agreement was the foundational document on which two Lutheran synods united as the Lutheran Church of Australia in 1966.

The Queensland District’s proposal calls for the LCANZ’s General Church Board (GCB) and College of Bishops (CoB) to investigate the ‘theological, constitutional and governance requirements’ that would allow the LCANZ to operate as ‘one church with two different practices of ordination’.

A joint meeting of the GCB and CoB this year submitted minor amendments to the Queensland District Synod, which met from 10 to 13 June 2022 and approved the changes. In supporting the Queensland proposal, the GCB and CoB said, ‘by acknowledging that agreement does not exist on this matter, we are then free to consider a godly way to collegially participate in the mission God has given us for the wellbeing of the church that we love and serve in together’.

Other proposals to General Synod relate to the review of the church’s processes for ecclesiastical discipline and adjudication; the review of the LCA Constitution; and membership of the Lutheran World Federation and International Lutheran Council. These and other proposals can be found on the General Synod website Business page: www.generalsynod.lca.org.au

Information packages on the key General Synod proposals will be mailed to delegates before the in-person sessions so that they can be well prepared to fully participate in the Synod discussion. Videos will be produced to help congregations and members learn more about the topics and discuss the issues in their congregations and communities.

The 2023 General Synod in-person sessions will be a continuation of the October 2021 sessions, which were held online due to COVID travel and gathering restrictions.

175

LCANZ leaders confer on church worker supply

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LCANZ leaders have met to discuss and address the urgent church worker supply shortage confronting the church.

Over the next 10 years, half of our active pastors will retire from full-time ministry. Currently the LCANZ has 239 pastors in active ministry. Seventeen men are serving as Specific Ministry Pastors, and there are 15 Aboriginal pastors.

Across the church, 65 Lutheran communities are seeking a pastor to serve among them. However, over the next two years, only five students are expected to graduate from Australian Lutheran College (ALC) in the pastoral ministry stream.

‘Lutheran Education Australia is working hard to prepare principals and leaders for our Lutheran schools’, LCANZ Bishop Paul Smith said, ‘but our church needs more Lutheran women and men to be available for these roles.

‘In addition, parishes and church agencies are facing a dire situation regarding trained church workers being available to serve for the ministries of the church.’

The full-day Ministry Futures workshop, held in Adelaide on 18 May, was called by the College of Bishops to consider the church worker supply challenges the LCANZ faces, including ways to provide word and sacrament ministry as the number of Lutheran communities without a pastor increases.

Joining the bishops in the workshop were Pastor James Winderlich (ALC principal), Dr Tania Nelson (Executive Officer for Local Mission) and the three District mission directors, pastors Brett Kennett (Victoria), David Schmidt (Queensland) and Stephen Schultz (SA-NT). The workshop was facilitated by Victorian District Bishop Emeritus Greg Pietsch.

According to Bishop Smith, a strong theme of the day was ‘urgency to work together passionately and purposefully’ on this matter. ‘Participants commented often: “We don’t have time to dither”’.

At the heart of the morning session, workshop participants gathered in small groups for a long session of prayer together, with lament, petition, and thanksgiving.

Three key priorities emerged from the workshop conversations:

  • Pathways: develop pathways for specific ministries, such as pastor or chaplain, including specific pathways for ministries in schools and aged care, and church planting.
  • Regionalising: develop regional collaboration to determine how local areas work together for the provision of word and sacrament ministry in the mission God gives us.
  • Ordering Ministry: establish clear language for how we understand the ordering of ministry amongst us, including what we understand to be flexible. This includes engaging with CTICR’s 2022 project in the study of ordering ministry. (Currently the ordering is bishop, pastor, lay worker, and includes Lutheran principal, Lutheran teacher and chaplain.)

‘We are a small church denomination numerically’, said Bishop Smith, ‘but our Lutheran communities are a vital participant in the work of the gospel in Australia and New Zealand.

‘The group that met in May asks the people of the LCANZ to continue this work of prayer, asking the Lord to guide the outcomes of this preliminary work. Lord, make us bold for the sake of mission. Amen.’

The College of Bishops is working with Bishop Emeritus Pietsch to progress the recommendations of the workshop participants, including consultation and engagement across the LCANZ.

Participants at the LCANZ’s Ministry Futures workshop decided to share the whiteboard notes from their first session’s work. See the LCA website’s news section if you’d like to read the transcript.

176

Award recognises a lifetime of service

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Mr Maurice Heidrich was recently presented with the LCA Servant of Christ Award for 2021. A member of Mountainside Lutheran Church in Auckland, New Zealand, the 92-year-old was recognised for having ‘worked tirelessly for the Auckland congregation for most of his adult life’, according to the citation for his award.

While the award celebration was delayed and changed due to COVID-19 sickness in the congregation, Mountainside Pastor Nich Kitchen – who presented the award on behalf of New Zealand Bishop Mark Whitfield – said the presentation ‘truly honoured Maurice for his service to the Lutheran church’.

Maurice has served the church in many roles, as a committee member, chairperson, elder, warden, property manager and, since his retirement from work with NZ’s Telecom in 1990, virtually full-time in media ministry. He was also one-half of the church-based Foodbank distribution team, along with his wife Linda, for 22 years.

The Chinese-language members of Mountainside also made Maurice special banners of blessing, recognising him as a true servant of Jesus, with a servant heart.

177

Scripture, study and song under the desert sky

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About 30 people were registered to attend the first Finke River Mission (FRM) Bush Course for 2022, when it was held outside Mount Liebig community, some 325km west of Alice Springs.

That number was to include FRM staff and volunteers. However, around 60 people turned up to participate in the study sessions.

There were many women and a group led by Pastor Russell Bryant, who had travelled more than 2500km from the Yalata community in South Australia, among the attendees.

The topic for the bush course was ‘The Letters to the Seven Churches in the book of Revelation’. During the day, Dr Stephen Haar, Australian Lutheran College (ALC) senior lecturer and vice-principal, taught on Revelation 1–3, while Pastor Paul Traeger of FRM interpreted into Luritja and David Strickland (Australian Society for Indigenous Languages) interpreted into Arrarnta.

‘God promises great blessing to those who listen, trust and respond to the message of the Book of Revelation’, Dr Stephen said, reflecting on the course. ‘Pastors in the Centre wanted to learn more about how to read and teach what this beautiful book has to say for the church.’

As with all bush course experiences, some moments stand out. For Stephen, one such moment occurred at lunch on the first day when more than 100 people turned up to share the meal; including one less-welcome visitor – a king brown snake! ‘There was no shortage of advice in many languages about how to dispatch the danger’, Stephen said. ‘Thankfully, one senior Ingkata (pastor) was mighty in both word and deed.’

The next bush course ALC will lead in partnership with FRM is scheduled for September.

This story is adapted from one which first appeared in ALC eNews. Subscribe to receive the monthly updates via https://www.lca.org.au/departments/ministry-support/communications/enews-subscription-management/  

178

Change of course brings blessings

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A change in academic direction has provided an extra blessing for Australian Lutheran College (ALC) student Darcee Anker, who is this year’s recipient of the Margaret Pech Memorial Scholarship.

Established by the late Pastor Herman Pech and his wife Elizabeth in memory of their daughter Margaret, ‘who never let disability and disadvantage deter her’, the Margaret Pech Memorial Scholarship is awarded to benefit one woman a year in her theological studies at ALC. Darcee, who is studying a Bachelor of Theology, is the 26th woman to have received the scholarship since its establishment in 1995.

Darcee joined the ALC community midway through 2021 after beginning a degree in Paramedic Science, which she quickly realised was not for her.

‘As with many others who begin studying theology … I began due to a fervent need to understand my faith better, and to learn more about our loving and merciful creator’, Darcee said. ‘I am absolutely loving my studies, although they are very demanding. I have found it a great help to be constantly surrounded by the word of God and an abundance of faithful Christian mentors.

‘I am not sure what I will do with my theology degree once I have completed it. With that said, I am incredibly passionate about the biblical role of women in the church, and particularly in the area of deaconess ministry, which provides a structured space for women to serve their Lord and spread his word as their vocation, whilst honouring the God-ordained differences between men and women.’

This story is an excerpt of one which appeared in ALC eNews. Subscribe via https://www.lca.org.au/departments/ministry-support/communications/enews-subscription-management/  

180

Death’s painful companion or helpful guide?

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Iconic French fashion designer Coco Chanel is quoted as saying, ‘Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death’. Indeed, as we age, it is natural to reflect on our lives. Looking back, we may have feelings of guilt about what we have said and done. We asked two Lutheran aged-care chaplains for their observations about the part guilt can play at end-of-life.

 

Gospel provides great comfort

by Gillian Reid

My role as an aged-care chaplain is to provide social, emotional and spiritual support for residents, staff and residents’ families, along with leading Bible studies and lay reading services. I also organise visits from congregational pastoral care teams from residents’ home churches if they have stated they would like visits.

Formerly a teacher, I was led to chaplaincy because I am passionate about providing a listening ear for people who need someone to talk with. As a teacher, I found that students would talk with me about things that were on their minds and a dear friend suggested that I become a chaplain.

The greatest joy for me is the relationships that I have the privilege to be part of. To just sit with an aged-care resident and share that time is a blessing.

I believe that both Christians and non-Christians struggle with guilt. It is a part of humanity’s fall. The difference is that a Christian person has the assurance and tremendous comfort that their sins are forgiven.

Some of our residents carry guilt from their past. Other residents who have dementia can re-experience guilt when it feels for them as though the event happened recently. Carrying guilt harms their self-worth and their relationships with God and others. For example, several residents have said they felt that the mistakes they had made in the past meant that God was punishing them now. The sense of guilt adversely affected their faith.

There is a difference, too, between guilt and shame. Guilt focuses on our behaviour. Shame focuses on us and is the fear of being unworthy of love. It causes people intense pain and suffering when left unaddressed. In contrast, guilt can be a good thing because it can lead us to the source of forgiveness, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

We can best serve others who are suffering with guilt by listening to them as they share their story. If you feel someone you are serving needs further assistance and counselling, do some research so that you can refer them to local psychologists and charities. When or if they ask us about God, you can share the gospel message of grace and forgiveness with them and support them.

I have known residents who have come into aged care carrying guilt from their past and who have discovered God’s forgiveness and grace through hearing the gospel message. It has made a positive difference in their lives and relationships.

The gospel is immensely powerful in releasing people from guilt. When I visit residents with dementia and we say the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostles’ Creed, they know every word and pray to God. The look of hope and forgiveness on their faces is beautiful to see. The Holy Spirit is living and active in their hearts. It is one of the great joys of my work. 

Gillian Reid is a chaplain with Lutheran Services since 2018, and has moved recently from Salem, Toowoomba, to Zion, Nundah in Brisbane. A member of Redeemer Lutheran Church in Toowoomba, she is in the process of joining a new church family due to her recent move.

 

Unfinished business

by Kathy Friebel

In a society that struggles to name sin, guilt is talked about openly in the context of indulgences like eating chocolate. Such confessions are offset by friends who respond with an admission of an equal or greater indulgence. More serious guilt for ‘what we have done’ and ‘failed to do’ is processed in our worship liturgy. Uncomfortable as it may be, guilt can help convict us, and guide us towards better lifestyle choices or relationship reconciliation. At worst, it can condemn a person to live with a sense of shame.

As a chaplain in an aged-care facility, I have listened to many older people share stories of the guilt that plagues them as they wrestle with ‘unfinished business’ late in life. More obviously, guilt is often present as tension between residents and their families.

As care residents spend increasing amounts of their day in sedentary activities, the time available for reflection increases. It is estimated that more than half of elderly people live with depression, and this can turn a person’s focus towards what hasn’t gone well during their lifetime.

With or without faith, a sense of guilt for choices made in earlier years is common. Where relationships have been damaged or broken, reconciliation with others is often impossible, especially if they have died. Rites of confession and absolution are deeply powerful for those who understand forgiveness from a gracious God.

While grief and loss may be dominant emotions for a resident entering aged care, guilt is often a silent companion. It is also common for family members to express feelings of guilt for having ‘put’ a spouse or parent into care, even though this level of care is needed.

If loved ones have been caring for the person entering care, part of the transition is resorting to the role of partner or child and relinquishing the role of carer. Visits can relax into spending time with each other. With the support of staff in creating new relationships of trust, there is great potential for avoiding or reducing feelings of guilt.

Whether or not dementia plays a part makes a significant difference. Those who need living assistance but have no insight as to their need, are particularly prone to laying guilt on spouses or children for moving them out of their home. With the personality change that can result from dementia, hurtful words of accusation are often spoken which, for the receiver, are hard to forget.

Residents experience guilt about many things. The theme most often verbalised relates to being a burden on people and resources. Residents who think this way can feel guilty for living. Comments about life being easier for their loved ones if they were dead are common.

Ageing people in any setting can have a type of survivor guilt, especially when a child or grandchild dies or has a terminal diagnosis. Residents who are deteriorating can also feel guilty for dying, especially if family members ask them to hang on until the next family milestone.

Guilt often presents during end-of-life and as part of grief afterwards. Much of the guilt in the death space is avoidable if conversations about death occur ahead of time. Outlining expectations for medical interventions can alleviate the angst faced in a highly emotional time. Visitation is often an area of misunderstood expectations. Many aged-care residents do not expect family members to keep a bedside vigil during end-of-life. When this has not been discussed, loved ones often put pressure on themselves and others to be present 24 hours a day until the last breath is taken.

The antidote to much guilt experienced in the last season of life is open conversation. Where this is difficult, it may help to enlist the support of another trusted person. A chaplain or pastor can assure a person that they are a loved and forgiven child of God, even if they do not want to discuss their guilt.

Discussing choices and boundaries within families can eliminate tension and guilt for the aged person and their loved ones. If healthy expectations are nurtured, their remaining days on earth can be free from misunderstanding and unnecessary burdens.

Kathy Friebel has been an aged-care chaplain for 10 years and serves at St Andrews Aged Care at Tallebudgera on Queensland’s Gold Coast. She has been part of the St Andrews Lutheran community as a congregational member there for 25 years.