by Craig Heidenreich
It can sometimes feel like the core business of the church, sharing the gospel, is taking second place. And when I talk to Christians about sharing their faith with unbelievers, they usually agree this is important but, at the same time, find it difficult.
Jesus makes it clear in Scripture that a sign of our love for him is our ‘witness’, but it’s hard to turn conversations towards spiritual things with sceptical people. We can feel we are not doing enough to share our faith. This was my experience until I realised that I needed to approach things differently.
CHANGING HEARTS IS PRIMARILY THE LORD’S JOB, NOT YOURS
I was trying to be a witness for Jesus rather than with him. I needed to relax and let him take the lead.
He is the Lord of the harvest, actively drawing people to the Father. The Lord has won reconciliation and softens people’s hearts. I was relieved to realise he was inviting me to join him as a junior partner.
Now I listen for his prompting. He shows me who to spend time with and what to say, but the real change in others is the Holy Spirit’s work. I might be one of several Christians he is using to reveal himself in that person’s life.
FOCUS ON THE PROCESS, NOT THE OUTCOME
I used to focus on engaging people in a ‘God conversation’ without attending to the relationship. Talking to a stranger (or neighbour), I felt that if I didn’t say something ‘spiritual’, there was no value in the interaction.
I now focus on being the sort of person that others feel comfortable opening up to, trusting that I’ll know what to say about Jesus (and when).
If we hope to share our faith with others, it is more likely to happen when an unbeliever confides honestly about something that concerns them. This provides a context to speak into.
The measure of my personal ‘mission field’ is the openness of the unbelievers around me. There are ways we can significantly grow this mission field (with prayerful intention). What qualities encourage openness in others? Can we learn some new practices, like being a good listener?
As we prayerfully give attention to connecting well with people for their sake, the miracle of God’s love starts to flow into our hearts. With his perspective on someone, my sharing becomes more relevant and natural.
CULTIVATE A HEART TO BLESS STRANGERS
People respond when they sense you approach them with goodwill.
If you are familiar with the Luke 10 passage, Jesus gives the 70 several instructions as they interact with strangers. The first is to start by blessing people (declaring Shalom – peace be with you).
Normal human interaction is transactional. We weigh up whether a person deserves our attention. But Jesus calls us to show unconditional favour to others, as he shows us.
Sadly, part of our human condition is to critique others – often expressed in critical thoughts and words. And living with a critical (superior) posture limits our ability to pray for strangers or approach them but, with God’s help, we can think and speak blessings. People sense this before you even open your mouth.
PEOPLE RESPOND WHEN THEY FEEL VALUED
There are various ways we can signal that a person is valued.
Truly listen: When we take time to listen, it shows we think the person is valuable. A common trap I fall into is listening just long enough to express my own opinion. Often, this just shuts the conversation down. What we are aiming for is ‘curious’ listening to draw forth honesty about life’s real issues. Take a curious posture and ask questions that encourage a person to talk.
Remember: A sign that we value what we have heard is to remember important bits, such as people’s names and other details. This can be very impactful the next time we see them and helps the transition from strangers to friends.
If you habitually say, ‘I’m not good with names’, ask for God’s help. I also write things down immediately after the conversation, and carry a small, indexed book for this. Another solution could be using the notes function on your phone.
Noting things reinforces my sense that the Lord is working in hearts and that each person is valuable. It helps me remember, enhances my empathy, and increases the likelihood that I will pray for them.
Resist your urge to correct: A common instinct among Christians is to quickly correct the opinion of an unbeliever before they know you care for them. Honest expression can be messy, but we can rest knowing the Holy Spirit brings people to conviction.
SHARE YOUR STRUGGLES
Many unbelievers think Christians are self-righteous and judgemental. We can dispel the notion that we ‘have it all together’ by sharing our struggles when appropriate. This invites the other person to share.
DON’T USE OVERTLY RELIGIOUS LANGUAGE
Often groups of people use specialised terms only meaningful for group members. If our goal is to connect, we will use terminology that unbelievers can understand. This is becoming more necessary with greater numbers of people who have little exposure to Christian talk.
KEEP THE THINGS PEOPLE SHARE CONFIDENTIAL
People will withdraw if they don’t feel safe. Be prayerful about what to share and what to tuck away in your heart.
SPOT SITUATIONS WHERE YOU CAN INTERACT MORE THAN ONCE
Building trust is not usually achieved in a single conversation. This means we look for situations and contexts that allow relationships to build. Most of us are already in contact with unbelievers at work or in our neighbourhoods. And we all visit supermarkets, petrol stations, restaurants, hairdressers, doctors, etc. Why not make someone’s day by showing an interest in their life?
SPEND TIME WITH PEOPLE WHO HUNGER FOR RELATIONSHIPS
Our Australian and New Zealander culture can promote the idea that we are successful when we don’t need anyone. Then if we do have a need, we ‘pay for service’ and control the interaction. This has a certain appeal but is a lonely existence.
Not everyone will be ready for honest interaction, but the Lord is often ‘using’ the difficulties people experience to soften their hearts. He will direct us to people who are ‘ripe’.
I’m not just suggesting we try to be likeable and kind. Our aim is far richer and relates to the whole purpose of our existence. We each have a part to play in God’s big plan for humanity, and getting into step with him gives our lives meaning.
While we are being kind and prayerful, other important things will happen. We start to hear the prompt of the Holy Spirit and experience divine appointments. He leads us into situations matching our personalities. God’s love germinates in our hearts, taking us beyond our human limitations.
When I sense the Lord’s presence, I am less concerned about myself and what people might think of me. It is then I am more likely to share my faith.
Craig Heidenreich is the LCANZ’s Cross-Cultural Ministry Facilitator.
This story first appeared in the LCANZ’s Equipping You for Mission eNews. Find it in full at www.lca.org.au/what-is-your-personal-mission-field/
